Not to judge, but we have all tried to get back with our ex. Some of us had been successful while others haven’t. Yes, we know that getting back with an ex is a bad idea, but it isn’t always so. Breakups are hard, and people always seek out the comfort of the familiar.
According to a poll, 95 percent of people would rather get back with their ex. If you are among them, then you are in the right place. Remember that getting back with an ex can take a lot of time and patience because there is always history there.
- 1 How To Get Your Ex Back?
- 1.1 1. Give your Partner Actual Space
- 1.2 2. Don’t Think Of It As a Competition.
- 1.3 3. Hold Back on The Badmouthing.
- 1.4 4. Change Your Life Before Seeing if Your Ex Fits Into It.
- 1.5 5. Assess If Your Issues Are Actually Fixable
- 1.6 6. Don’t Overthink How You Approach Them
- 1.7 7. Keep the Actual Meet-up Spot Casual.
- 1.8 8. Address The Elephant(s) in The Room First.
- 1.9 9. End Things on Some Great Memories.
- 1.10 10. If You do Get Back Together, Really do The Work.
- 2 Part 1: How Do I Get Over a Toxic Ex
- 3 Part 2: Am I Still in Love with My Ex or Just Lonely?
- 4 Part 3: How Do I Restart My Relationship with My Ex
- 5 Conclusion
How To Get Your Ex Back?
If anything, you can visualize Ross and Rachael and their relationship. Get the point? So if you are ready to put in some hard work and honesty, then you can win over your ex quite easily.
Here are a few tips for you. So without any further ado, let’s get right into it.
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1. Give your Partner Actual Space
This is very important. Maybe all you guys needed was space. This can be hard initially, especially if your partner broke up with you, but you need to push through it.
Give them some time to stay alone. If you can not respect this boundary, it can cause problems afterward when you try to win them back.
So this is an important step. Please do not lose your cool and create an emotional scene in front of them. Of course, you need to contact them again and reach out if you eventually want to get back together.
But when? Well, this depends on your partner. You know your partner the best. You decide when to reach out again. A good general rule is to wait for a few months.
If you start to miss them, you can pop a text, or if you were broken with them, you might want your bitter feelings of resentment to go away before you contact them.
2. Don’t Think Of It As a Competition.
We have been using the phrase ‘win over your ex,’ and it seemed pretty normal, didn’t it? It is not. This is not a competition, and your ex is not an object that you can win over.
This is the sign of an unhealthy relationship, and if you think that you can win over someone, you can forget about getting back together in the first place.
You both need to be in mutual agreement for this to work and not just you trying to ‘win’ them over.
It is a mutual growth of a relationship that you both go through ‘together,’ and it’s better if you don’t make a race out of it.
It will take time and patience because there are issues that need to be smooth over.
3. Hold Back on The Badmouthing.
Whether you want to get back together with your ex or not, you should not ever badmouth someone who you once cared about. After all, you guys did exchange your hearts with each other.
Yes, breaks up are hard, and you might need to vent, but that can be done without bad-mouthing your ex. It is hurtful to say some bad things about someone who you once loved.
If you are the one who broke up, then would you want your ex to go around bad-mouthing you among your friends. That would hurt you, right? Try to think about it in that way.
If you ever decide to date again, these vindictive texts or rumors can only cause problems in your relationship. It does not even make you feel better.
4. Change Your Life Before Seeing if Your Ex Fits Into It.
Self-love is the best love. Before getting back with your ex, you need to improve your relationship with yourself.
You can find yourself feeling lonely at times, especially after the breakup. At such times you need to improve your relationship with yourself and find new friendships and hobbies.
You won’t be ready to get back into any relationship unless you have discarded your fear of being partnerless and satisfied with your own self.
After that, if you still want to get back together with your ex, then you should.
5. Assess If Your Issues Are Actually Fixable
If you broke up over a trivial issue like long-distance, for example, then both of you can make some compromise and get back together.
However, if you had larger problems and disagreements like having kids or marriage, we are sorry to say that it’s probably better to move on than to fix the relationship.
6. Don’t Overthink How You Approach Them
If you have made up your mind about getting back together with your ex, you need to approach them. Don’t overthink about what to say. Just strike up a simple conversation.
It might feel a bit awkward at first, but it’s important to push through it. If you have had a long-term relationship, you can be direct about missing them, or if it was the short term, then be casual and ask if they are free any day to hang out.
7. Keep the Actual Meet-up Spot Casual.
Suppose you both do agree to meet up, then it’s best to pick a casual spot. Please do not take them to a familiar haunt you both used to visit when you were in a relationship. That might make them feel uncomfortable.
However, we suggest a sweet coffee shop where you can feel comfortable and enjoy talking too. Make sure not to put too much pressure on your partner.
If they feel uncomfortable, cut the date short. Be honest about your feelings, and do not try to push your partner. If you do push them, then it can end up them leaving on a bad note.
8. Address The Elephant(s) in The Room First.
If this step is not completed, then there is no point in getting back together. First, you guys need to address the issues and problems that caused you to end your relationship.
We know that you might want to compliment them and butter them up to increase your chances, but that comes off as plain flattery to the other person, and they will be unimpressed.
It is better to address your issues and sort out your problems otherwise. You can find y yourselves breaking up once again. It’s easy to ignore the problems, but communication is the key.
Even if it feels awkward, be honest about your feelings and lay them all out. Ask your partner to do the same and then only you guys can work together and sort them out.
You must be both willing to sort things out. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time.
9. End Things on Some Great Memories.
Well, at this point, you have made your intentions clear to your ex. They have listened to you and given you their verdict.
It doesn’t matter if it is positive or negative news. Try to end things on a good note. Reflect on some of the good memories in your relationship and then part ways.
If you actually love your ex, you need to cherish all your good memories, focus on them and not let the bad memories take over.
10. If You do Get Back Together, Really do The Work.
Well, if you guys do get back together, then congratulations. But please do not think that you can fall back and rest once this is done.
Relationships take effort. You can not just put a tag on it and forget about it, hoping that it will work out independently.
It does not work like that. If you are given a second chance, you need to be grateful and improve your relationship with them.
Try to improve yourself and not make the same mistakes that you made previously. Grow together and nurture your relationship.
Just like it’s said, if you do get back together with your ex, then you really need to do the work to keep the relationship alive too.
Part 1: How Do I Get Over a Toxic Ex
Recognizing Toxic Traits: Start by identifying toxic behaviors in your ex and the relationship. These may include manipulation, control, emotional abuse, or consistent disrespect. Acknowledging these traits is the first step.
Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries with your toxic ex to protect your emotional well-being. This may involve limiting or ending contact, unfollowing on social media, or even blocking their communication.
Self-Care: Prioritize self-care during the healing process. Engage in activities that nurture your mental and emotional health, such as therapy, exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive friends and family.
Journaling: Keeping a journal can be therapeutic. Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, allowing you to process and release negative emotions.
Let Go of Guilt: Many individuals in toxic relationships experience guilt or self-blame. It’s essential to understand that toxicity is a shared responsibility, and letting go of guilt is a crucial part of healing.
Professional Support: If you find it challenging to move on from a toxic relationship, consider seeking therapy or counseling to address trauma, heal, and build healthier future relationships.
Part 2: Am I Still in Love with My Ex or Just Lonely?
Differentiating Love from Loneliness: It’s common to feel lonely after a breakup, and this loneliness can be mistaken for lingering love. Reflect on whether your feelings for your ex are rooted in genuine affection or a desire to fill the void left by their absence.
Time and Space: Allow time to gain clarity about your emotions. Avoid rushing into a new relationship or reconnecting with your ex impulsively. Time can reveal the authenticity of your feelings.
Introspection: Self-reflection is essential. Consider what you miss about your ex and whether those aspects were genuinely positive or if they are a result of nostalgia.
Seek External Opinions: Reach out to trusted friends and family for their perspectives. They can provide valuable insights into your emotional state and help you differentiate between love and loneliness.
Dating vs. Reconciliation: Evaluate whether you are ready to date again or if you are seeking to reconcile with your ex. The motivations behind these choices can shed light on your true emotions.
Part 3: How Do I Restart My Relationship with My Ex
Mutual Interest: First and foremost, ensure that both you and your ex are interested in restarting the relationship. Open and honest communication is crucial to establish mutual consent.
Learn from the Past: Reflect on the reasons for the previous breakup and identify areas that require improvement. Discuss what you both have learned and how you can avoid repeating past mistakes.
Set New Expectations: Understand that restarting a relationship means forging a new path. Set clear expectations and boundaries to ensure a healthy and fulfilling connection.
Effective Communication: Communication remains the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Be open, honest, and receptive to each other’s needs and concerns.
Seek Professional Guidance: If you encounter challenges or unresolved issues from the past, consider couples’ therapy or counseling to facilitate communication and conflict resolution.
Take It Slow: Avoid rushing into the relationship. Take your time to rebuild trust, deepen your connection, and ensure that both partners are committed to a healthier future together.
We hope that we have been of some use and that you have found the tips useful in this article. We hope that this article has benefitted you even if a little bit. Now please keep in mind that this is theory. In real life, things can go differently.
While writing this article, we have tried our best to keep real-life scenarios in mind, but you can never be sure about how your ex reacts to these tactics.
They might have already moved on, or maybe they do not wish to get back with their ex, and then these tips won’t be useful.
So a lot of variables matter in such situations. Nonetheless, we hope that you successfully get them back and that your efforts don’t go to waste. Good luck!