Losing someone who is important to you hurts a lot especially when you were serious about a relationship.
Losing someone who is important to you can be heartbreaking, but no matter how sad it is, we all go through this at a certain point in time. It can be pretty devastating for anyone.
If you feel like you need a lot of time to heal from losing your loved ones then do not worry because you are not alone.
Yes, we know it hurts but it’s just a life experience, a part of being human. Almost everyone has to go through it. It’s a part of life.
There are several stages that a person goes through after losing someone they love. The initial shock is paralyzing.
But after that, a person goes through feelings of rage, numbness, anger, depression, dejection, and so on. It is okay to give yourself time to heal.
It’s not a race and no one is judging. The process of accepting the loss of a loved one is indeed long and full of thorns.
It does not matter how much longer it takes for you to let go but what’s truly important is that you let go. It’s a slow but steady healing process and there is no way around it.
You have to stay strong and go through it. You have to feel every emotion and every pain before you finally start to move forward.
Time does not matter. It does not matter if you have been grieving for few months or if it has already been years. So do not feel dejected and defeated.
The feeling of sadness and pain can be overwhelming and can seem like nonsense but they are important since they are stepping stones for you to move forward.
The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train in this case. Everyone is not the same.
Some people can take longer to heal than other people. It is all normal. So you do not have to beat yourself up about not being able to move on. Things happen at their own pace. Give it time.
If you have recently lost someone and can not make out head or tail of what you should do then you are in the right place.
We are here to provide you tips on how to move on. Of course, they are just tips. You have to figure out what helps you the best yourself. So without any further ado let’s get right into it.
- 1 Why Losing a Relationship Hurts So Much?
- 2 Keep In Mind That There Is No Time Limit For You To Follow
- 3 Allow Yourself To Feel All Of Your Emotions
- 4 Be Sure To Remove Your Ex From All Your Social Media and Your Phone
- 5 Remember To Love Yourself
- 6 Note Down In A Diary About How You Feel
- 7 Turn Your Energy Into Something Positive
- 8 Do Not Keep Holding On To Anger And Blame
- 9 Do Not Torture Yourself By Overthinking
- 10 Remember There Isn’t Just One Person Out There For You
- 11 You Will See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
- 12 Books On Relationships
- 13 Conclusion
Why Losing a Relationship Hurts So Much?
Losing a relationship hurts so much because we are social animals. It’s in our DNA to form relationships with others.
Our own being is defined and given meaning by our relationships with others. In case we lose a relationship that meant a lot to us, it throws our world into a frenzy.
Losing a meaningful and deep relationship can be hard because along with the relationship, we lose a part of ourselves too.
All of our feelings, our relationships, our perceptions are closely connected to each other. Therefore, losing a relationship hurts that bad.
When we lose someone we love, we literally lose a part of our self-identity which ultimately leaves a hole in ourselves and that makes us feel empty.
We feel that we have lost the meaning of our own lives and in a way, it’s true. It’s our tendency to cling to our past but if we cling to these feelings of self-doubt and emptiness then it can be severely harmful.
Yes, the person who you lost will never come back. A part of yourself is gone with them permanently. There is nothing you can do about it but what you can do is, accept what has happened and learn to move forward without that part.
Keep In Mind That There Is No Time Limit For You To Follow
When you lose a loved one, you want to get over it as soon as possible but one part of you wants to cling to their memory. This causes a conflict of will within your own mind.
We have all heard that time heals all but some people feel pressurized about moving on in time. But that is wrong. There is no fixed time limit for you to move on.
It can take weeks, months, or even years. It all depends upon the individual. Do not be ashamed or feel pressurized if you it takes a longer period of time than the others around you.
Do not beat yourself up. There is no time limit. You can take as much time as you want to fully move on and start building your life again.
Allow Yourself To Feel All Of Your Emotions
Some people might tell you to put on your big boy/girl undies and let it go but that’s crap advice. Do not try to keep your feelings bottled up.
It does not make you weak if you face your true feelings and go through it. This includes feeling anger, hatred sadness, false hope, denial, depression, dejection, defeat, and so on.
Feeling negative feelings is nothing wrong. It is just a Cycle of healing. It may at a time seems unbearable and the feelings may suffocate you but remember to let it all out.
Be Sure To Remove Your Ex From All Your Social Media and Your Phone
This is the first thing that you should do after a breakup. We know it’s heartbreaking but it is necessary. In this age of technology, it is hard to let go.
If you had a very close relationship, it means your phone and social media must be marked by them. You need to remove their accounts, their phone numbers, and their pictures from your phone.
Get rid of them completely. If you don’t do that then seeing them again and again will remind you of your memories.
The emotional wound will keep getting bigger and not heal at all. To heal yourself, you need to do it even if you feel dejected.
Remember To Love Yourself
It’s easy to forget about our own health when we lose someone. You start to blame yourself for everything, you feel like you were responsible for the relationship not working out.
You guilt yourself into more pain. This is human nature. However, it is important to remember that you are not tied to them. You are your own person and you have your own worth.
Do not beat yourself up about the end of the relationship. It’s not your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship and two people to break one. Remember to love yourself. It’s very important that you do.
Note Down In A Diary About How You Feel
It’s a therapy technique that allows us to get a better grip on the situation. Writing down your feelings on a piece of paper will help you get a better perspective.
You can also note down the negative points of your relationship. Although it seems a bit sketchy to be true, it actually helps.
Venting your thoughts out in any way or in any form can be useful for your healing process.
Turn Your Energy Into Something Positive
It’s acceptable if you just want to hole up in your room and binge watch TV shows movies while eating ice cream. But there’s so much of that you could do.
We suggest that you find something productive or positive to do with all your feelings. You can opt for exercise or for going out on a run.
This can be a great way of opening up and connecting with the outside world once again. If you are not a fan then you can also do yoga or start drawing. Do anything positive.
It can serve as a great healing process. You can also slowly start to socialize with people again. Conversation with other people can help clear your mind and negative thoughts.
It can feel like a breath of fresh air. Try spending time with your friends and family. This way you will realize that there are still important people in your life that love and care about you.
Do Not Keep Holding On To Anger And Blame
It is important to note that when you are holding a grudge or anger against someone then you are basically giving them control over yourself.
It does not matter how the relationship ended. What’s done is done. There is no point in pointing fingers and hurling blames on the other person.
The angrier you get, the more you blame, the more you lose control over yourself. Bitterness and anger can destroy you from the inside.
It’s okay to feel negative emotions but letting them control you is not good. Learn to let it go.
Do Not Torture Yourself By Overthinking
Do not overthink about your relationship or your breakup. Once the relationship is over, it’s over. There’s nothing you can do anymore except move on.
While the process takes time, we tend to think about what went wrong in the relationship.
We overanalyze the situation and make ourselves believe that if we did something different then maybe the relationship would not have ended.
This is very dangerous indeed and we can get trapped in this cycle of analyzing and overthinking.
You should try to focus your thoughts on something else, rather than focusing them on your dead relationship. Meditation and yoga are said to do the job just fine.
Remember There Isn’t Just One Person Out There For You
There is plenty of fish in the sea. Now we know that it is a cliché but there’s a reason why it’s a cliché.
It’s because it stuck around the minds of people and that happened because even if it’s cheesy, it holds some truth to it.
It may be true that you will never find someone like your ex but that’s the whole point.
Every person is different in their own way. You will find someone different who will connect with you in a different way, who will make you laugh and smile in a different way.
It might not happen soon but take your time. Have faith and everything will work out just fine.
You Will See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
There will be dark when you lose someone you love. It’s natural. You will feel completely lost and hopeless in the darkness but don’t try to fight it or don’t be scared, because it is not permanent.
Soon you will be able to pass through the dark phase of your life and then you can once again open up your heart to the beautiful world and smile.
It may take some time but do not give up hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
You just need to let time do its thing and just with a little effort and a little acceptance, you will be out of dark waters. And then you start living again.
Books On Relationships
There are a few books on relationships that can help you. It can help you understand relationships better or it can even help you move forward.
We have listed below a few of the most informative and useful books on relationships which does not provide vague and shady advice.
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
- Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.
- 7 Principles Of A Successful Marriage by Jon Gottman.
- Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
We hope that you have found this article useful. Whether you are reading it for yourself or for a friend, make sure that you know that losing a relationship is not like the end of the world, even if it may seem so initially.
Learning to move forward, after accepting your feelings is important. Keep patient and take your time.